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But age difference is a lot like a cultural or national origin difference, where it has to do with a world view and outlook based on the phases of life that each person goes through.
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I’ve done previous articles on cultural differences in gay male relationships, and how to cope with them, as well as gay men navigating other differences, such as income or certain psychiatric disorders. Gay relationships with an age difference can still work very well.Īge differences in gay relationships can be just like any other variable. But I don’t like to put much stock in these kinds of negative stereotypes, because despite the fact that we can find evidence for them, straight or gay, every relationship is different, and consenting adults have a right to form the relationships they want, regardless of any social approval from irrelevant parties. So, a gay male couple with an age difference can have the same stigma, of the older, wealthier “daddy” objectifying and exploiting a twink for his youthful looks, and the daddy is being exploited for his money by the twink who just “wants the best of everything” as a defense against any self-loathing for being gay. Both of those partners can have their true feelings invalidated by a social stigma, and that’s even with heterosexual privilege. There, the “dirty rich old man” is being exploited for his money, while the “gold-digging bimbo” is being exploited for her traditionally-attractive looks as a “trophy wife”. However, even straight relationships can be “ looked down on” if there is a big age difference between the partners. We know that, despite marriage equality, gay relationships do not have the social validation in lots of ways that heterosexual couples do, which is why heterosexual privilege in society is a real thing. The other question that’s also common is about how to handle an age difference in a relationship.Īge differences in gay relationships add another layer of potential stigma to gay relationships. Among these are questions about gay relationship situational difficulties that have to do with where and how we live, such as my previous article on gay men coping with a long-distance relationships. As a very long-term (28 years) specialist in therapy for gay men, I’m asked often for gay men’s relationship advice, especially how to overcome some of the most common and classic challenges in gay relationships.